Testing 2

My favorite from his birthday pictures. This one just makes me smile! :)

(it worked!!! a big, pretty picture.Im happy its clear and I FINALLY learned to widen my main column :))




Here is how most of the session went - him running and me chasing.



and then he'd just laugh!
(it was HOT out there. I cant remember why he didnt have a shirt on but I think thats why! I was in a full-sweat by the time I was done chasing this little monkey around.)

Testing

(bummer. figured how to enlarge the pictures but it looks horrible. its definitely not like that in "real life". hmmmmm. got a new layout and a signature though. 2/3 isnt too bad :))

Oh, happy days!

The nursing strike is OVER!!!! I have my nursling back :) Praise the Lord!!!!! After 40 days or refusing me during the day, Abram suddenly started nursing two days ago. Little stinker. He's back to nursing just like before, coming to me for comfort or when he is tired, etc. Its SUCH a relief not to have to pump anymore! Im so, so thankful.

Check out this YouTube video - turn it up, grab someone and dance around with joy like I did this morning! He is so good! His joy is overwhelming!





Here is a picture I took when Steves mom was here. Except for the fact that my suburbans in it, I really like it ;)

Nursing

well he refused to nurse again that day and every other time I offered until this evening. He was just fussy so I tried to act normal and offered it and he nursed for about a minute! I was shocked again. Who knows....maybe we will ease back into it?

He still has thrush :( I thankfully dont have any symptoms/pain but it would be easier if I didnt have to deal with sterilizing the pump constantly. We have tried some natural things and now we are trying some nystatin. hoping to kick it soon! Thankfully the diaper rash part is much better.

fun day today. I left during the sermon part of church. abram cant play with the other kids since thrush can be contagious and he was really wound up and exhausting me. So we drove and he was asleep pretty quickly and slept 1.5hrs in the carseat! We had life group afterwards - really big group today. We had 15 adults and 19 kids so it was busy! I was outside with the kids with another friend. it was HOT. nasty hot. instantly-sweating-the-second-you-walk-outside kind of hot. YUCK.


steve and his mom picked up a simple dinner of hot dogs and pizza from costco. i love their pizza :) i dont care what we eat either, if I dont have to cook. A few more days of my vacation and then its back to reality!!!! So thankful for this time though...its wonderful to have her here. She is truly a blessing!

tomorrow steve and i are going to tackle the garage while Sharon watches the kids. then we will head over to a waterpark to spend the afternoon. Fun!!! Then at night there is a big gathering for moms at church and im doing a short 5 min talk on how to "Clean Green" :) It will be a busy day but hopefully productive.

everyone else is asleep. as much as i love to spend hours doing things while its like this im going to try to be disciplined to make myself get to bed now. Night y'all!

One month and 5 days.......

One month and 5 days since Abram nursed during the day.....and he just nursed!!!! He was crying and crying and not wanting to go down for his nap. The last few days he's been going down without any rocking or holding, just some hugs and a little back rubs so it was weird that he was putting up such a fight. Finally I decided to try nursing he latched right on! Im still in shock. Im hoping that we can go back and I can quit pumping, that would be awesome!!!!

Last night was night #3 that Abram was in his own bed at night. Steve and I both decided it was time. Its been hard though. Last night was the hardest and we finally just brought him back to our bed at 2am. Even then he was up a lot and nursing a lot. I think his molars hurt. He is still working on those! But we will keep working on it. Steve thought maybe that separation will cause him to nurse again in the day.....maybe?!

they grow up so fast *sniff sniff* I wouldnt change one thing about having him co-sleep at night for so long. It was what worked for all of us and was such a sweet, precious time between us. But things are changing and he is getting so big! :)

Fingers and Couches

Cut the tip of my finger off yesterday. It really hurt. Kind of ruined my morning. It still really hurts but its getting better. Mostly I was nauseous just looking at it all day!





*warning: Gross picture**







But today we picked up our new-to-us couches and we love them!!!! Awesome story there but for now Ill just share pictures (thanks mom!!!!) :) Oh and it was a really great deal for some genuine leather couches in great condition. yay!

(this picture is the true color - below. its a very pretty neutral. My MIL is here and she is great at decorating so we are working on getting some color in there!)


:)

Thrush :(

Abram was crying when I put him in the carseat the other day and I peeked in to check on his molars only to see that his mouth is FULL of white spots :( :( :( Im so sad :(

some of you may remember the awful, hellish, 8 month-long battle I had with thrush when I was nursing Caleb. I was on a lot of antibiotics with him because of my kidney stone issues. This time I have no idea why it happened. I'm guessing from using the pump and only handwashing it? and eating too much sugar with too little sleep.

so far I dont have pain but I am overwhelmed with all i need to do to get rid of it. We may go straight for gentian violet this time. I'll probably get rid of the bottles (dont trust the nipples, even boiled, I believe Calebs pacis reinfected him) and move to sippies only. This means some serious sleep issues at naptime since he drinks the bottle while I rock him (time for that to go anyways). But all the meds (grapefruit seed extract, garlic, vit C, etc), all the laundry (on hot, iron bras to kill it, etc), all the replacing (toothbrushes, etc) and cleaning everything his mouth touches .......sigh.

Please pray it is gone fast, fast, fast and stays away! I need to get it gone soon for my mental health!

On a happy note I have a super cool story I will share soon. God is just awesome!!! I did a silly "God is so cool" dance in my kitchen today ....just so blown away by how He is moving right now!!!! Made me jump for joy! Story soon :)

thanks for praying!

Bean Cake :)

So here is the gluten/soy/dairy/sugar-free recipe that I used for Abrams cupcakes. I was so curious to try it with the beans!!! You really couldnt taste them at all. They rose nicely and looked just like a regular cupcake! I was very impressed. I used agave instead of honey but also used the stevia it calls for. I made the icing but without the raw egg white.

Here is the link: Healthy Indulgences
(this chick is super cool. she is a poor college student who buys these cool ingredients when she can and whips up these amazing creations in her tiny kitchen!)

Im 30 now!

I had a great birthday (yesterday, the 13th). It was a very blessed day!!!

I love birthdays. My mom always made a big deal about ours and I love making a big deal about for other people now too. I started to get a little down that there was nothing planned for my big 3-0. But the Lord sweetly whispered that if Id put the focus on doing something for someone else, I wouldnt be so stressed and it would be more fun!

I asked some friends for some ideas and had some friends join me for part of the fun.....

at 2:30 on my birthday I went alone (everyone else had kids to be with!) to a nursing home nearby. My neighbor Carolyn knows the "Activities Director" there and hooked me up with her. I got a cheesecake from Costco and took it over there to share with them. It was awkward and intimidating, especially to go alone. But it was a blessing because I know it blessed them. They looooved the cheesecake and went on and on about that. It was a special treat for them. I told them Id bring the kids by sometime. I want to teach them some cute songs or something to do for them. I know the ladies would love it. It was fun to listen to them share about what life was like when they were 30!

I went out to dinner with mom, Steve and the kids. On the Border and I had shrimp fajitas. That was the selfish part of my day! ;) Delicious though. And Steve helped with the boys and my mom had Jayna covered so its was nice and relaxing only dealing with Abram :)

Later that night I met with two friends downtown. We had some good time talking at Starbucks then headed out to Sundance Square. Our goal was to talk to people about Jesus! We were so intimidated, it was very stretching for all of us. We kept walking and kept chickening out. Finally I just had to go for it. We were there to share and it was getting late! :) We went up to those 3 college girls and talked with them for quite a bit. Two were Christians but one wasnt and I got to share my testimony with her. It was awesome!!! We are going to be facebook friends with them LOL

It was humbling to realize that even though college seems like yesterday, I am TEN years older than those girls!!! aaaaah! They were so sweet though. We told them that having them as friends on facebook would make us so much cooler :)

you know those cards that sing when you open them? My dad and stepmom Heidi sent me two - one from my sisters and one from my dad. It had their actual voices recorded on them!!! i bawled like a baby. it meant so much to me to hear them. Made my morning!

On Pioneer Woman's blog she has a guest blogger who always signs her blog "Encourage one another" ..... I love that!

So, "Encourage One Another"!

Birthday Fun

We had a very long, but very fun day today. We left around 10am and didnt get home until after 8! The kids were exhausted and we are too!

We had a blast at Cabelas. Abram was thrilled to be walking around with the "big kids". and he was completely mesmorized by the fish

Here he is with Daddy. they matched. so cute :)

I did a mini shoot with him outside afterwards. He spent the whole time running away from me :) like this

He really made me work for it! But I got some good ones so it was worth the sweat. and it was quite entertaining for passersby.

Did some shopping and he got a fun push/ride firetruck by Little People. Then we spent the rest of the day with my cousin April and her husband (cousin Eric) and brother (cousin Mark).

We had some TX bbq for dinner and Abram got to tear into his first cupcake :)

lots of pictures to come! I want to upload some to share larger because they all look blurry through blogger this time???? they arent really like bad. so more official ones will come later!

Abram's Firsts

Like I said in my last post, the 4th child has to work very hard to be the first at something. So here are some fun facts about

Abram.......

- first baby to not give me back labor :)
- first baby over 9lbs
- first baby to give up the paci all on his own
- earliest crawler (6.75 mos)
- earliest walker (8.5 mos)
- first one to have a seizure :(
- first one to take a ride in an ambulance
- first baby to skip purees and eat food as it is
- first baby to give up nursing in the day ... but still nurse at night
- first baby who has never spent one whole night in his own bed (love it!)
- possibly the baby with the most words before a year? just learned daddy, doggie, nana, chicken and uh-oh this week!!!

Just for fun here are some of the other kids' firsts!

Noah.......
- obviously - first baby :)
- first baby to start signing back to us
- baby with the most signs. he knew 100 by 18 mos before he started talking in sentences and gave them all up
- earliest teether. 3.5 months
- slept through the night the earliest. 7 weeks.
- longest to be swaddled. 8 months.
- first child with major injury (fractured skull)
- first child with a second major injury (broken finger)
- first child with a third......you get the picture....total is 7 by the way. we pray that it stops there!
- first (and only) child to knock teeth out.
- most ER visits. (shocking haha!)
- first, and only, child to have a major reaction to a medication (10 mos, amoxicillin, hives from head to toe, major swelling in his face. scaaaaaary!)
- earliest reader. before 4.
- first and only baby to completely wean. 10 mos old. I was pregnant with Caleb!


Caleb
- first natural, drug-free birth
- smallest baby at 8lbs 5oz
- fastest growing baby....30lbs by a year! (Abrams only 25)
-biggest feet. had to get him double wide shoes when he was little! Now his feet are the same size as Noahs :)
- earliest ER visit. 7 mos for bad case of croup. also his only ER visit (thank you Jesus!!!)
- most traveled child. 4 separate trips on an airplane.
- first and only one to have asthma. (But God has healed him! So thankful!)
- most illnesses as a baby/toddler.
- first to have a black eye. just in time for his 1st bday party :)

Jayna
- first to be born in the water :)
- first girl!
- longest paci user. 19 mos
- longest nurser. 19 mos :).
- earliest flight. 7 weeks old. for auntie Sarah's wedding
- smallest at a year. around 20lbs?
- longest co-sleeper. 2yrs. slept with me at night until Abram was born
- first blond :)
- first to be completely un-vaccinated
- healthiest overall so far......thank you Lord!

Birthday Eve

In about 39 minutes my baby will officially be one year old. I am filled with mixed emotions.... passing moments of tear-filled eyes and then joyful, peaceful smiles at what the Lord has done in the past year.

We moved into this house 1 month and 2 days before Abram was born. His birth, for us, marked an important change in our family life and it has been sooooo GOOD!!!!!

As I laid with him tonight and nursed him (his 11pm nursing, still not nursing in the day!) my heart was just overwhelmed with what an absolute blessing he is :) So many people choose not to have more children for financial reasons....bear with me, this is my heart...... and especially for believers, its something thats hard for me to understand and makes me so sad. Its easier to say it when you cant see the little ones God has planned for you, but once you have them you'd never trade them for anything!

Of course he has cost us money and its not money that we had to spend. But the Lord ALWAYS provides. He has come through time and time again, for everything we need!

The cost of the birth, chiropractic visits, a ride to the hospital in a ambulance, food, etc. But how could I ever snuggle that sweet blessing and trade it for anything else in the world?! No, we didnt have a family vacation this year, we never got the gates fixed or new garage doors like we'd hoped. We didnt fix up the porch like I wanted to or get window treatments in the boys' rooms. This past year we have gone with much less then we ever have before.....but instead we have an eternal, miraculous, beatiful little person, handcrafted by the God of the universe!!! . We have a piece of God's amazing creation right here in our family .... a child who will grow to a man, who will walk with God and do mighty things in the kingdom before going on to worship God for eternity. Nothing this earth has to offer is worth more than that.

so I just keep smiling, thinking of the last year and our sweet Abram. Having four kids seems so normal now and that makes me smile too. He has blessed us so much. Abram is part of our story and we are so, so thankful!

I always tell people that the 4th child has to work very hard to have their own "firsts". Tomorrow Ill be sharing a list of some of Abrams and they are pretty fun :)

We are heading to Cabelas in the morning with Nana and Steve and all the kids. They love it there, its a fun place to just spend time as a family (in the AC!) Ill have my camera attached to me tomorrow, taking as many pictures as I can of my sweet boy on his big day!!!! Then tomorrow evening we are meeting my cousin and her husband and son for a family dinner to celebrate. I made Abram gluten/soy/dairy/sugar-free cupcakes that came out surprisingly well! You wont believe what the big secret ingredient is!!!! Ill share when i have some pictures :)

What I was doing 1 year ago at this time.........

In labor.......7hrs start to finish.......
twice as long as my labor with Jayna but the easiest of all 4!

I think I got in the tub around 10:30pm? He was born after midnight.

our sweet baby arrived! 9lbs 11oz

Being held by daddy for the first time

Meeting big brother Noah and his mohawk :)

A few days ago after his bath!
(i dont get in many pictures so even those this is blurry and just taken with my old falling-apart point and shoot camera, i just love it!)

Joy vs. Happiness

Some of you who follow photography may know who Jasmine Star is. She is a super-fab, very popular southern California wedding photographer. But she also happens to have an identical twin named Bianca who is an on-fire-for-Jesus speaker and teacher. She had a great post on her blog and I thought it fit perfectly with some of my previous posts.

I want more than this world has to offer!

From her site:

Happiness is temporal, joy is lasting despite trials. Happiness is an emotion, joy is a state of mind, heart, and soul. The reason Christ encouraged us to live in joy is because righteous living is not easy. Jesus warned us that we will have trouble in this world (John 16:33) and Paul foretold all who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted (2 Timothy 3:12). Here's the best news:

• Joy is not dependant on our circumstances. We have joy because of the gift of salvation, because of His goodness, because of God's unconditional love.
• Joy is not based on efforts. No amount of willpower can produce joy because it comes from our relationship with Jesus.
• Joy is not merely an emotion. Joy is looking deeper into our situations and realizing that Jesus is in CONTROL of everything! We need a supernatural outpouring of joy, a filling of His joy, an overflowing of His joy.

A good reminder today. And if you really want some encouragement from an awesome woman of God who is walking through the fire on earth with Jesus as her hope, check out Bev Brandon's post "Let the weak say Im a warrior"

Great carseat for older kids

this is a forward-facing seat best for older children (kids are safest rear-facing until 3 or 35lbs!). It provides them the safety of a 5pt harness for up to 80lbs. My boys had these in our old van. Its very wide so you need room for it. (it doesnt install well in an '01 suburban but thats the only year that I know of that there was an issue)

Its a Britax Regent and its on closeout at Amazon for $179

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0018CELO0?tag=melsbarblo-20&camp=213381&creative=390973&linkCode=as4&creativeASIN=B0018CELO0&adid=14G6AR6A5NM4CNBPXMDF&

Thankfulness

Im struggling with a lot of anxiety right now so Im going to choose thankfulness in response.

here goes.....

So thankful for:

- my sweet husband. He is an amazing man and an awesome dad. He is so teachable and always willing to listen to my side of things

- he started doing laundry a week or two ago and is still doing it ALL. He washes, I fold.

- our 9 year anniversary is coming up on the 11th. So thankful for the Lords grace that got us through the hard times

- Noah. he is so creative and has a drive to learn and work and know more. i love that about him (because he is just like me haha!). i love how easily he learns and how much he loves the outdoors and Gods creation.

- Caleb. i love his snuggles. i love listening to him talk sweetly to Jayna while they play together

- Jayna. I love her tenderness. She caresses my face and tells me she loves me and i just melt (so does daddy!) She is always taking Abram his sippy and helping him drink it or taking him a toy, etc.

- Abram. He has a sweet spot for his sister. He kisses and hugs her all the time and so gently. I love his bull-in-a-china-shop way about him that reminds me of Caleb.

- I love when he nurses at night. so thankful we have been able to nurse this long and thankful I can still give him milk via pump/bottle/sippy in the day.

- im thankful for this house. its so much easier for me to keep clean and also to keep a handle on the children. Im thankful they didnt grow up in the old house - too much freedom. too far away. Im thankful we are here in the area of Ft Worth that we are.

-SO incredibly thankful for our church. we have learned so much and we know the challenges to our faith have only just begun and that is EXCITING

- thankful for our cell/life group. we really love those people and learn so much from them

- for community. we are in peoples lives so much more now and its sooooooooooo good for all of us

- for amazing friends. friends who pray and help and lift me up when Im down. friends who share wisdom and clothes and time. they are answers to prayer!

- thankful to live in a country where we have freedom to worship. freedom as women. freedom to raise our children how we think is best

- thankful to homeschool. its scary and challenging but i wouldnt want it any other way. I know Im not capable. I am in no way sufficient. But His grace is.

- grace. Id be nowhere without it. I am nothing without the blood of Jesus! He is my sustainer, my breath of Life! My King!

*phew* feel better. still a bit anxious. but better.

notice turning 30 is not on the list LOL. Not so excited about that! ;)