I really dont need another project at the moment but I have something I want to try on my blog. It may be extremely boring for my readers but helpful, hopefully, to me.
One day, awhile ago, I realized that every single night I went to bed I ended my day with self-condemnation. It was usually relating to failures as a wife and mother. I never, ever went to bed and thought, "I did a good job being a mommy today". When I think back to the last 8 years as mommy, the first things that come to mind are failures. I was too hard on Noah when he was little, expected too much, pushed him to read too early, yelled too much, etc. And these days I feel like Im on the computer too much, not teaching the kids enough, too short tempered, etc.
But of course I did do some good things and some things right. I remember taking Noah out to toddle around and sitting for hours teaching him colors and shapes when he was only 1 (he knew them so early!). But I really do have a bad memory and dont remember as much as I should.
so what I want to try to do as often as possible is list the good things from my day. Moments my children were happy or felt loved, or I took time to sit and snuggle with them or just any good moment from our day. Since I have a horrible memory and tend to remember the bad more often than the good, I think this will be a good exercise.
so here goes .......
- Abram fell asleep going to pick up Noah, around 4pm. I got home and we could NOT get him to wake up. If we tried he just said, "go away! go away!". Steve and I were cracking up about that. so after several failed attemps I just let him sleep on my chest. I fell asleep with him for half an hour while a movie played and the older kids played elsewhere. We had a good snuggle (and a nap for mommy is a very rare treat!) :)
- Noah was putting his mouth on the end of a yellow latex dish-washing glove and blowing it up. Then Abram would run up and "pop" it and run away screaming and laughing. It was so sweet.
- I was pretending to sleep and Abram would tip toe up excitedly, giggling with anticipation. Id just have to yell "rawrrrrr!" and he'd literally fall down, laughing hysterically. It was just too easy. I love his big smile and his dimples and the pure joy when he's belly-laughing.
- Caleb put on some kids bible songs and he, Jayna and Abram danced around singing. Caleb pretended to play guitar on a wooden sword. Too cute. He loves music.
- and I dont want to forget the look on Steves face today when Jayna ran in and curled up on his lap. Usually she makes him work very hard for any affection and its extremely hit-and-miss. He was so shocked & instantly wrapped around her finger. She is getting so big, I keep telling her to stop growing
- Noah had school today. They had a spelling bee and he missed his first word ("yawn" - which he does know how to spell). He was so bummed, poor guy. He's thriving at school though and loves it.
- Caleb asked if we could put the tree in the front room and open presents infront of it on Christmas. My sappy boy :) We got rid of our big fake tree a few years ago when it came out that they often contain lead and the dust from them can cause lead poisoning. Caleb was dealing with some serious neurological delays so we got rid of anything that could cause him further harm. Im going to try and talk Steve into either a real one this year (achoo!) or a new fake one. For Caleb :)
so those are my happy moments from today. There is a long list of things I didnt do but Im thankful for all the sweet moments, the hugs, the giggles, the love.