There was death, in me, wrapped up in my womb.
What should have been.
But she wasn't. She was there, inside, still mine.
For weeks I lay down at night, weeping womb, and eyes.
I wanted her to stay, my only chance to hold her...
And our time came, so violent, so much.
I was tested and what came was fear.
She was leaving. And my body betrayed. And tried to go too.
And You were there, incarnate in hands held and prayers whispered.
In bright lights and loopy somewhere,
You whispered, "stop".
And you, who should be here, at my breast and in my arms. You went alone.
Do you hear me Faith? Do you hear the quiet, aching, weeping of my womb?
But you don't ... You're with Him.
The light breaks through.
Never mine. You weren't.
We are sisters, clinging to the same Love.
Saved by the same grace.
Sometimes I almost feel you here in my arms, smell you ....
and the stinging wave crashes hard.
Death tried to empty me sweet daughter,
but it's lost its sting. Our Savior. He won. He heals.
I smile at what He's done.
Because of Him we have life here ~ and there.
'Til I see you and we dance on streets of gold, I love you.
© Rachel Loth, 2011